Do you know how you make decisions?
Most of us think that we consider our options, process the variables, and then make a decision, utilizing willpower only if that particular choice requires it. While we have the ability to make decisions this way, we rarely do. Our modern lives require us to make thousands of decisions a day.¹ The decision-making process described above is slow and tedious. The brain is wired for efficiency, so it creates shortcuts to keep us functioning in our fast-paced environment.
It’s a bit of an oversimplification, but essentially, your brain has two sides that function very differently. The right side of the brain processes large amounts of data very quickly, but it does it all subconsciously, behind a dark screen so that you can’t see it. The left side of the brain is much slower and only receives a small subset of the data that the right side of the brain decides to feed it. The left side is a gifted storyteller, it is a meaning-making machine, creating stories to explain whatever data it is given.
While we think we thoughtfully and consciously make decisions, in reality, neuroscience has demonstrated that most decisions are made subconsciously by the right side of the brain. It is only after the decision has been made that it feeds that information to the left side of the brain where a narrative is crafted to make sense of the decision. When we explain why we took a given action we are usually telling the story crafted after the fact, not the process we actually used to make the decision.
I can hear you asking: “Then how does the right side of the brain make decisions?”. Great question!
The right side of the brain is constantly asking the question: “What do people like me do in situations like this?”. It uses the answer to that question to choose an action. It is this action that is passed on to the left side of the brain to make sense of.²
I have been thinking a lot about this lately and I find myself disturbed by something. Recently in Indianapolis where I live, people have been finding these flyers in some of the local neighborhoods.
What does it take for someone to look at our current situation and determine “Oh…in situations like this, people like me pass out KKK flyers”?
What is it about this action that feels like an appropriate response to this situation?
As a society how have we failed these people so thoroughly that when they think of “my people” the only people with whom they can identify are members of a hate group? Or worse, they choose that identity as a preference?!
What is it about this “situation” that invites this action? Could we each sit with the tension of that question for a moment and ask how we have contributed to it? Normalized it?
How might we work towards a solution? If we do nothing, our silence allows this to become an acceptable social norm. Let me be clear, this cannot and must not become an acceptable social norm. On the other hand, if we ostracize them, they become even more radicalized and more likely to only find “my people” among the worst of us.
Edwin Markham, an American poet, wrote a poem called “Outwitted”. His words feel too idealistic and radical here…but I find them challenging me, calling me to something more. They resonate and poke at my soul in the way the words of Christ sometimes do.
He drew a circle that shut me out
Edwin Markham
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle and took him In!³
How could we possibly move forward if “my people” are not redefined first?
Note: I recognize the concern that this might feel like it centers the oppressors, and I want to address that. Those who align with the KKK are centered here because they are the source of the problem, and we must confront that problem to work toward a solution. However, when we are with those who have been oppressed, the only appropriate response is to center their experiences, hold space for their pain, and acknowledge that in those moments, their suffering is the problem we must address. This is not an either/or—it’s a both/and. We need to challenge hate while simultaneously supporting and uplifting those it harms.
References
- Reill, Amanda. “A Simple Way to Make Better Decisions.” Harvard Business Review, December 5, 2023. https://hbr.org/2023/12/a-simple-way-to-make-better-decisions.
- Wilder, Jim, and Michel Hendricks. The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation. Illustrated edition. Moody Publishers, 2020.
- Markham, Edwin. The Shoes of Happiness, and Other Poems. Antique Reprints, 2016.
Thanks for this reflection. As a resident of a neighborhood where flyers like this were dropped, it has been on my mind quite a bit. I appreciate your nuanced view.
“We need to challenge hate while simultaneously supporting and uplifting those it harms.” Love this.